WHY DON'T YOU FRAKING HIPSTERS HAVE LIGHTS?

I'M NIGHT-BLIND! I CAN'T SEE YOU!

Grr, it's just so frustrating when these people suddenly materialize out of dead blackness only a few lengths ahead, especially on all those blocks where the streetlights have been out since forever. I see why drivers get so frustrated with us in general. You're rolling along, and suddenly HOLY SHIT THERE'S A BIKE IN FRONT OF ME! AND A POTHOLE THE SIZE OF A BUS! WHICH DO I EVADE?!?!?!

Will somebody please, please make bike lights cool? I know it's a tall order, but making the city of Chicago fix the streetlights and the potholes is an even taller one, and I don't have that kind of clout.