Pushing the limits of dorkitude to the X-treme!!!!!!
I might have to get a water backpack of some sort. At last I have a bike light enough that I can carry it on one shoulder---except I get stabbed in the armpit by the water bottle cages whenever I try. Because the frame is so tiny. Even though I'm not.
(Aside: Are most cyclists---who are mostly men, of course---just really, really tall? Are 5'7" men condescendingly told that they need to order a special kind of bike with a short-man-specific-design frame and smaller wheels in order to ensure proper fit, peak efficiency, and better comfort? Or are they just sold a smaller frame and that's that?)
Anyway, the back-mounted hydration systems (or whatever they're called) that I've been seeing tend to rival backpacks that are designed for actual backpacking in capacity and complexity (and if I wanted to carry one of those all day, I'd actually go backpacking), so if there's a company out there that still makes your basic waterbag with shoulder straps and a tube, and if you can recommend a good one, let me know.